We are presented today with a very challenging topic: LOVE.  I read recently that the Eskimos have 52 names for snow, because snow is important to them; so, I asked myself, should we not have as many for LOVE? For love is important to us.  Even the ancient Greeks had three words for love: eros –passionate love (hence the word erotic), philia - friendship love (hence the name of the city of Philadelphia, the city of brotherly love), and agape – love that is compassionate, generous, faithful, unselfish and able to reach out to others. 

In our own language the word love is stretched to mean so many different (and sometimes even opposite) things.  Most of the time, unfortunately the word tends to have romantic connotations, thanks to the media, I think.  Love goes further than romance it goes to aliens, widows, orphans and the poor as our first reading from Exodus tells us.  Jesus stretched the meaning of love even further when he said we are to love our enemies.

In general, when we hear that word, LOVE, we automatically think of romance, joy and warm feelings.  Sometimes it is; sometimes it’s a matter of dedication, loyalty and commitment.  Those who have matured in learning about love know that sometimes it’s easy and sometimes it’s hard work. 

The Jewish leaders considered there were 613 precepts or commands in their law, the part of the Bible we call the Old Testament.  Jewish rabbis often debated which of these was the most important.  So, Jesus was asked what is the greatest.  He states two, not one, as basic and central to everything else. The first is from the book of Deuteronomy and is that part of Scripture pious Jews recited twice a day.  The second is from the book of Leviticus.  Putting these two together is original with Jesus and stresses Jesus’ emphasis that true religion is more than a matter of external observance (which it is of course) but comes from the disposition of our hearts. 

The disposition of our hearts colors our external observance of God’s law, that is doing what God wants us to, even if we don’t feel like it, even if our heart is not totally in it.  I think many people in today’s world think that love of God is just a matter of warm fuzzy thoughts and feelings about God, without much attention to our behavior as to whether we are doing what God wants us to do. 

For example, taking seriously the Commandment of keeping holy the Lord’s day, taking any time for worship or serious prayer, many consider unnecessary.  But Jesus said in John’s gospel: “if you love me you will keep my commandments”. 

Notice again which of these two commandments of love of God and neighbor Jesus said is the first and the greatest.  But the second is like it and we can’t really love God whom we do not see if we do not love the neighbor whom we do see.  There are almost an infinite number of ways we can love others: from common ordinary decency and friendliness to really putting ourselves out for others who are the most destitute as St. Francis or Mother Teresa did.

But, just what is love?  Here are a few quotes from some famous people.  One very famous person known as “anonymous” wrote “love is such a funny thing; it’s very much like a lizard; it twines itself round the heart and penetrates your gizzard.”  On a more serious note, Martin Luther King, Jr. tells us “Love is the only force capable of transforming an enemy into a friend.”  Margaret Mead, the anthropologist, wrote “One of the oldest human needs is having someone to wonder where you are when you don’t come home at night.” The actress Katharine Hepburn has a rather profound description: “Love has nothing do with what you are expecting to get – only what you are expecting to give – which is everything.  What you will receive in return varies.  But it really has no connection with what you give.  You give because you love and cannot help giving.  If you are very lucky you may be loved back.  That is delicious, but it does not necessarily happen.”

Some of you may be familiar with the stages people go through when they discover they have a terminal illness.  These stages are denial, anger, bargaining, depression and finally peaceful resignation.  I’ve read how some couples, married for 40 years, experienced the bloom of their romantic love fade, and…

• There was at first DENIAL.  They worked hard to act like the bloom hadn’t faded. 

• When that didn’t work and they were faced with their profound differences (which, of course, they perceived as faults in each other) they became ANGRY at each other and even angrier as they attempted, without success, to somehow change or “heal” the other. 

• When that failed they went through a phase of BARGAINING in which they attempted to negotiate around each other’s faults, a phase which was without joy. 

• Joyless, they descended into a lengthy phase of DEPRESSION wherein each wondered whether it was worth it all. 

• Then gradually and almost miraculously, they emerged into a stage where increasingly they began to accept their deep differences of personality as mere differences, often more reflective of virtue than fault. 

• They ended up describing each other as their best friend and then enjoyed interests they shared.  The growth and change they saw in each other helped keep their marriage interesting. This, of course, is an example of a healthy, maturing relationship.  

There are some relationships that are stuck in unhealthy patterns & some that are even destructive.  People in dysfunctional relationships need help to move their relationship into something healthier.

I think this is a good example of the deeper aspects of love.  From a spiritual perspective, I can see people going through these very same stages in their relationship with God.  We always want that “high” feeling that knowing God’s love can sometimes give us – but in the normal course of any relationship with God that is maturing, there are periods when we feel we are spiritually in the desert.  There are those times too, when we get angry with God, when we try to make deals, when we feel let down because he doesn’t give us what we want.  But all these stages lead to a deep love and a profound joy if we don’t give up.  Love is a disposition of our hearts.

Simply put, when we ask ourselves whether we love God or love others we can’t look for lots of warm, fuzzy feelings to see if we do.  We must ask ourselves simply what are we giving in life.  What are we giving to God? What are we giving to others?  Loving God means giving God obedience, prayer & worship.  Loving our neighbor means helping them in whatever way we can.

To quote Katharine Hepburn once again, she said, “You give because you love and cannot help giving.  If you are very lucky, you may be loved back.  That is delicious, but it does not necessarily happen.”

BUT WITH GOD, it has already happened.  He has loved us first.  Just look at the crucifix.  Just think of the Eucharist we now celebrate and the gift of love he gives us in giving us himself.  We are here today to say “thanks” to God for all his goodness to us.  The word “Eucharist” means “thanksgiving.”

As St. Paul tells us in his letter to the Colossians: “Whatever you do in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.